You wanted me to come out with you today… and I saw how hard you tried. But it hurts me even more than you know having to shut you out like this. I only do it because I love you. Because I know having a bratty teen is easier to digest than having a drug addicted child going through withdrawal. “How can I help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong?!” Just love me, in spite of everything I say or do I just need you to love me through it. But I know you always will…you’re my mom
This. This right here is what kills me about the monster I’m fighting. Some people would give anything to be healthy but I insist on deteriorating.